In the Belly

Pretty much every year for the past 4 years I have used a variety of bible reading plans. I like them. They give me direction so that I'm not just aimlessly reading whatever I turn to all the time. If there's an old testament book I have memorized, it's Jonah. I can't even remember how many bible studies I've either gone to or led on Jonah. I've always really loved the story and have learned a lot from it; but, when it came up in my reading plan last week I found myself severely disappointed. At first I thought maybe I was actually tired of Jonah's story. But that wasn't the right feeling. It was the first time I've ever had to practically force myself to read scripture... I'm not talking about when you read some days even though you don't want to or have trouble making time (obedience). I'm talking about feeling desperately opposed to reading that particular passage. Which, when I thought about why I felt that way, just made me feel like I really needed to spend more time on it. So I have. In Jonah after he gets thrown from the ship, it says he is being tossed around in chaos (or the water is the equivalent of chaos). I feel a little bit like that right now.... Being dizzy from spinning around so much thinking around and around and around about it all. I talked to a few wise friends. The more I read and reflect on it, the more I realize how dangerously close to Jonah I have become. Not just when he runs away in chapter one, but when he is sitting alone on the cliff in the sun at the end. I'm usually pretty good at communicating things in writing... But this time I can't.

Still, I have realized that time spent talking about this with my friends is something I have missed desperately. Thanks to them I was reminded to ask God for some guidance while reading Jonah too, which is who I should have looked for from the start.