I read a few days ago that the Japanese "Origami" originally meant something close to "guaranteed" or "certified". In the 1300s the Japanese would take their important documents and certificates and fold them in such unique ways that it would prevent anyone from making unauthorized duplicates. I imagined what my parents would say if I folded up my diploma. It'd be the most expensive origami stegosaurus I've ever made.
On another note, we had crazy club at the Finney's tonight and I said goodbye to my kids. I know they're not "my" kids. Also, they're not "kids". But I love them. The past couple weeks have been really sucky. It's so stupid to cry because I'm no longer a Young Life leader for Federal Hocking, but I can't seem to stop myself. I know I will still try to hang out with some kids and I've already made plans with one in particular, so why do I feel so sad? I've always tried to cut to the heart of things with people... Tell people the way things are and not leave anything unsaid (whenever tact allows it, and sometimes even when it doesn't) but I have this gnawing sadness that so many things weren't said and so many kids weren't reached. It breaks your heart to see so many kids come and go and never choose to take God's hand. I also started crying recently while looking at people I saw at Central, people who have clearly chosen to seek God, because I was so overwhelmed by how glad our father must be when his kids choose a life with him. I'm just one big crying mess. It seems I cry no matter what. Even at open mic, I cried... And that's my HAPPY place! Bruce played a song to Bernie, Brianna, and I by Bob Dylan called "You're gonna make me lonesome when you go". It's pretty self explanatory and I don't want to talk about these sad things anymore. There's no sense in wallowing in them. So, there's your emo post, Zoe-friend....
Also, I need to figure out Skype!
2 comments:
haha! I'm not laughing at the fact this is a sad post but at the fact you titled it "emo post for zoe." I have been feeling everything you are feeling. At least you weren't at central on Sunday or you would have been crying in front of everyone like I was. boo. I'm sick of being sad as well. I didn't really want to talk on the way home from the Finney's because I was trying not to cry, but I don't think Kelley or Bekah realized that and it was kind of awkward because I just didn't want to answer their questions about how things went last night. I'm jealous that you do get another year of attending Central and at least the slight hope (i know you will be super busy) of hanging out with some kids from fed hock and people we love like Bruce. I have a funny story that I need to tell you though. It should definitely make you laugh a little.
well you kept telling me to write another emo post.
And yes, that car ride was miserable. I was trying super hard not to cry... which always makes talking impossible for me.
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